成功しない人、幸せになれない人の特徴は我が強いこと

斎藤一人さんは、我が強いことは良くないことと音声などでよく言われています。

一般的に言って、「我が強い人」というのは、わがままで自分を通そうとする人のことを指すと思います。

しかし、斎藤一人さんファンはどちらかというと、優しくて、真面目で、繊細な人が多いと思います。それは斎藤一人さんも当然、ご存じのはずです。

それなのに何故、一人さんは自分の教えに耳を傾ける人に対して、我が強いというのは良いことではないと言うのでしょうか?

スポンサーリンク

真面目で優しいけれど、我が強い人

真面目だけど我の強い人僕の友人で、30代後半で建築業の職人になった奴がいます。

彼は真面目で挨拶もちゃんとできるし、相手を立てることもできます。

でも、彼の評判は職人仲間からは良くなくて、「あいつは生意気だ!」と言われているそうです。

彼からは先輩職人から散々意地悪されている話を聞くので、どっちもどっちの可能性もあるのですが、彼こそ斎藤一人さんが言う「我の強い人」だと思います。

彼は自他ともに認める真面目な人間です。でも、彼は礼儀を先輩に対して尽くすから、あなたも礼儀をちゃんとしてねという人なのです。

あまり良いことではないですけど、建築関係の職人社会は体育会系で、先輩からのいじめというか可愛がりもあります。それを彼は許さないのです。

彼も正しいのです。でも、そこでもう一歩引くことも大事だと思うのです。

彼は表面的にはマイルドで、穏やかなのですが、その一歩奥には硬い我があります。

それが彼と彼以外の職人との壁を作っているのだと思います。

我の強い人は商売でも成功しない

頑固な考え方先日、インターネットで副業をして稼ぐという話を書きました。

このネットでの副業ですが、自宅でできることから、ニートや引きこもりと呼ばれる人も多く実践しています。その中で、成功している人、成功しない人にも「我」が関係していることに気づきました。

ニートで引きこもりだから、ネット副業に掛けるしかないと、一生懸命取り組んでいて、必要なことを何時間、何百時間掛けてやっているのに、ダメになった、成功しないという人にも我が見え隠れします。

ネット副業であれ、銀座まるかんの商品を扱う対面のリアルな商売であれ、そこに必要なのは自分の我ではなく、相手、お客さんのことを考えることです。

我が強い、ニート、ひきこもりの人は、「これがお客さんが喜ぶというから、一生懸命やっているのに!」という調子なのです。

一方我の強くない、ニート引きこもりの人は、「これはどうもお客さんが喜ばなかったから、こっちをやってみるか」という調子で、相手ありきなのです。

自分はこう思ったではなく、お客さんがどうか?という視点です。

何時間、何百時間掛けてもお客さんが喜ばなかったら、どんな商売でも成り立ちません。

我が強いというの、ここでもあまり良いことではありません。

僕はこう思う、という我を一度捨ててみる

我を捨てる斎藤一人さんの本で、こんな話がありました。

とある女性に講演会の後に話しかけられました。

「私はモデルさんみたいになって幸せになりたい。なれますか?」

斎藤一人さんの答えはNo!です。

解説は今のままで幸せになれない人は、幸せになれないということでしたが、これも我が関係している気がします。

幸せになるのに、自分なりに条件を付けているわけです。これこそが我です。

みんなにきれいね、スタイルが良いねと褒められることこそが幸せだという我の強さが、彼女を逆に不幸にしていると言えます。

別にみんなが振り向くような美人でなくても幸せになれるのに、そうでないと幸せになれないという我を持つのは不幸でしかありません。

プロ野球選手の大半は、アマチュア時代みんなピッチャーで4番バッターだと言います。そこからプロに近づくにつれ、自分が現実的に出来るポジションにみんな移っていくそうです。

サッカー選手で言えば得点を取るフォワードから、色んなポジションに移ります。

みんな我はあれど、現実的に自分ができること、求められていることを認めて、プロの選手になるそうです。

負けず嫌いで我が強いと思われるスポーツ選手ですら、我を抑えてプロを目指すのです。

僕も我が強いから成功できず、幸せを何度も捨ててきた

僕自身も我が強いです。

表面上は相手に合わせるのですが、自分のやり方、考え方を変えられない、曲げられない。むしろ、それが良い、そここそが自分だぐらいに思っていました。

しかし、僕はそれでものの見事に成功できず、幸せを何度も捨てて来ました。

今、ネットで商売をしようと思っています。我が強くては成功できません。

我ではなくて、ネットの向こう側に居るお客さんのことを考えないければいけません。

相手を満足させることが出来れば利益になり、そうでなければ1円にもなりません。斎藤一人は商売は厳しいと仰っていますが、本当にそうだと思います。

だからこそ、自分の我を捨てる、我をいったん抑えて相手を幸せにする訓練に商売はなるのかなと思っています。

そうして商売で何とか稼ぎを得られるようになった時に、自分は我を捨てて自由になれる気がします。

もちろん、商売で成功しなくても、その経験は自分の人生に役に立つと思いますが。

口で言うのは簡単ですが、我を捨てるというのは難しい。でも、この修行というか訓練の先に何か、今までとは違う人生があるような気がしているので、我の前に、相手を考えるようにやっていきたいと思います。

あとがき

〇〇でないと幸せでない。
〇〇でないと楽しくない。
〇〇でないといけない。

など、〇〇に入るものが多いのは我が強い証拠だと思います。

でも、これは斎藤一人さんの教えとは真逆だと思います。

斎藤一人さんは普通の定食屋さんで、ごはんを食べても幸せだと言いますし、散歩していても幸せなのです。

一流レストランで最高の接客に最高の料理を食べることこそが幸せなどと言っていないのです。日本一の納税をした人がです!

この〇〇を一つ一つ捨てることで、もっと幸せは増えるはずだし、もっと自由になれるはず。

斎藤一人さんの教えを実践して、もっと幸せに楽しい人生に変えていきたいと思います。

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